The Visit

•May 29, 2013 • Leave a Comment

It’s been so long yet here you are. You walk through my door and it’s as if you never left. Your kiss familiar, your hold many moments longer, neither one of us wants to let go. There’s that feeling that, when we embrace for the first time after this extended absence, it as though we have to acclimate and accept that we’re real. Tangible. Not going to disappear if we let go. Afraid to let go. Relishing in each other. I bury my face in your neck and drink you in. Inhale… Exhale. My shoulders relax. Completion.

We jump into the old rhythm easily. Conversation is light doing the “catch up thing”. I busy myself making you tea, my heart fluttering, happy and unbelieving that you’re in front of me once again.

As time passes and our bodies move closer we don’t want to break contact. A hand on the leg, my fingers brushing the back of your neck, your fingers brushing my cheek, hip to hip. We talk into the wee hours, not saying all of the things that we want to say but knowing we eventually have to Go There.

Throughout the night your body moves closer and closer. I move; you move. Shoulder to ankle, feet entwined. And I know that I adore you because your feet don’t repel me like every other human’s feet do. We sleep. Deeply. We are comfortable together. Familiar. Your snores music to my ears. A sound only a lover can love. When we wake in the morning you have moved me to the edge of the massive bed, an effort to stay at my side.

The last night. We avoid Going There as long as we can. Sharing music, laughing, my head in your lap. I drink you in, afraid to take my eyes from you, afraid you’ll disappear. Knowing you’re about to disappear in mere hours. You call me “Beautiful Girl” and it makes me shine. Then…

Silence.

We start. We say all the things we have been avoiding. Going deeper than we ever have. The man I felt as though I knew inside and out reveals more than he ever has, a sign to me that his heart is beating closer to mine, sharing the rhythm we’ve been moving toward for years. We go just far enough to be spent and then curl together in sleep. This time I feel you, as the night passes, not quite as close as before as if you’re unconsciously separating as you know we inevitably must do in a few hours. I wake to your grey eyes and want to hold them. I take a mental snapshot. Click. I spray your cologne on my wrist so I can smell it throughout the day after you leave.

We part, most questions answered but the ones left unanswered a much deeper chasm. Yet I feel peace because I know you’ve come back to me, at least for these few days and it’s enough. This time. And now I’ll wait for the time when you will walk through my door again and I can nervously make your tea with my heart fluttering, happy and disbelieving that you’re in front of me. We’ll move into the same rhythm again and perhaps go deeper next time until maybe…..just maybe, we’ll finally get to the place where, when we part, the chasm will merely be the absence of you and not absence of our uncertain future.

Imperceptibly

•November 9, 2012 • Leave a Comment

(Original post date November 9th, 9:49am)

I’m connected to you. Irrevocably, insistently, inevitably, perceptibly… It unhinges me. I’ll be sailing along through life and then something will remind me. Of that color in your eyes when you look at me, how they imperceptibly, only to me, deepen a little bit greyer in the way that’s reserved only for me. The way your eyes crinkle at the edges when you find something I say amusing. My heart warms and I store it for when it inevitably chills when you’re gone.

Do you feel it too? The pull. I’m there but I’m not there…? Where are you when it strikes? Is there a trigger, a sound, a song, a smell? Do you feel me when I close my eyes and call for you? Perceptibly. Persistently.

At times I can’t breathe. I catch your smell on the wind, close my eyes and time stands still for a moment. I pretend you’re standing right in front of me, your lips hovering over mine. When I open my eyes and you’re not there that scent blows a hole into my chest that doesn’t close. Imperceptible to everyone but me.

It never closes. Hear that whistling, the wind in the eaves? It’s the wind roaring through.

I love/hate that I’m incompatible for anyone else. You did that. Years ago when you walked through my door with The Kiss I was found. How can you be found when you didn’t realize you were lost? When we are together there is peace. The elephants in the room gallop silently underneath our feet as we drink each other in.

Holding your hand in my own – it fits so perfectly, as do our bodies as we lay side-by-side, foreheads touching, eyes meeting, souls unquestioning. My body was made to fit yours. I sleep deeply and dream of you.

Yet hearts, minds and obligations oh-so-not imperceptibly rule our world.

Obligations.

When you’re with me all of the questions go away in those moments. I renew, able to conquer the chasm of time and graciously accept all the obligations that will separate us once again. Imperceptibly to anyone but me…..us.

Then when you leave….always, always leaving….You’re gone even before you leave. In your eyes, checking out, on to the next gig. You’re off on your next venture and I watch you depart. I am lost each and every time. Resolved to part with a wave and a smile, the hurt hiding imperceptibly yet at the same time the questions of our lives will build…build…build. Shall I write them out and see if it can pack the hole in my chest with the ream of stripped paper…?

Can I ride one of those strips, have it blow on the wind, perhaps into your pocket? Imperceptibly, I’ll lie there quietly, feeling you move, curl into your warmth, drink in your scent and feel the cavern slowly fill until, imperceptibly, it will finally be gone and I can breathe again. I will lie, imperceptible, until maybe the answer on the slip of paper is the words, the key to the beginning of our happy ending. Then, it will all be worth it.

At that moment the hole will close and perhaps we’ll both find the peace we’ve sought for so many years. At that moment it will be….perceptible. Once again. Finally.

On My Soapbox – Facebook Needs a Break

•November 8, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I think it’s time to step away from social media for awhile, specifically Facebook. Twitter is relatively safe but Facebook is about to make me “self-combust”. Friends? Really? Who has 500 real friends? I don’t. I have, like, four. Sure, there are people I like to stay in touch with but do these people really know me? Do they know what makes me tick? Nope. I’ve also found that you can’t be “safe” on Facebook. You can’t post opinions or real thoughts because there’s no anonymity. And people can be pretty vicious when they are hiding behind an application and don’t have to speak directly to your face.

I posted the following on my Facebook account today and I think it pretty well sums-up my opnion about That Damned Site. Will I say there? Yup. Will I say things I shouldn’t? Yup. Will I allow anyone to get in my face & make me feel bad about myself again there? NOPE.

With that…

“I want to share a perfect example of why I should have never allowed or engaged in political discussion on Facebook. I unfriended someone today (mutual) because they attacked me on a personal level because I said I was tired of hearing about politics. I won’t go into who, the reasons or exact details but it ended with this person saying they were “disappointed in me” and I wasn’t the person they “thought I was”.
I can’t even tell you what this person looks like. I don’t remember him. I’m not even sure how we were “friends” (And I won’t even get into why we have so many “friends” on Facebook who aren’t really FRIENDS at all.). But he got very personal with me, hit me below the belt and made assumptions about my character, made comments toward me and my family – all from me being “tired of hearing about politics”. I became a bad American because I was tired. I became a person of low character who didn’t have any experience with what it felt like to be afflicted by military service because I was tired. I became a person who didn’t know what it was like to have a bad outcome of war because I was tired. Oh, and of course, I became a “typical Democrat” because I was tired. (Btw, I’m not a Democrat…)

So what am I trying to say, really? Don’t assume you KNOW someone based upon some updates you might see in a public forum.

Most sane people don’t put their entire lives on display here – and for good reason. Before unfriending this person I sent the following words, and sent them feeling the hard-learned lesson, once again, that FACEBOOK ISN’T REAL LIFE. I was hurt with his words, yes, but why should I be? I don’t know him at all…yet, it did hurt, because words DO hurt. Social media makes people much braver because they can hide behind an application and hurl words at a screen, not having to say it to someone’s face. It’s why I won’t make that mistake again and why I’m sharing it here now. Maybe someone besides me will learn the lesson and perhaps think before you “speak” in this public forum. I said the following to him (edited for content) and I’ll say it in general – if you don’t know me TRULY, don’t make assumptions about what I know, live and feel:

“When I said I was tired of it all I meant politics IN GENERAL. I AM sick of it! I’m tired of people making it personal and having to DEFEND myself for believing something. I have that right – to be tired of it. All I’m trying to get across to you is that you don’t need to go there and don’t have the RIGHT to go there with someone you don’t really know. And especially in a public forum like this. The part you weren’t getting is that you are personally attacking me OVER POLITICS! It’s ridiculous! THIS is all I wanted you to consider. You know nothing about me. To say I’m not the person you think I am? You’re DISAPPOINTED IN ME? Seriously? You don’t even know me! Who might *I* be, exactly? Because you certainly had no idea about who I am AT THE ROOT, who my family is, what they’ve been through, my core belief system, what has happened in my life, who my family and friends are, what they’ve been through, what I experience on a day to day basis. Do you know any of that? If so, then you can hurl your disappointment. Until then, save it.”

And with that, I’m over and out.”

Yeah. That about says it.

One For the Boys – How to Lose a Girl With One Text

•September 7, 2012 • 2 Comments

I think it’s time for some advice for the boys.

Women don’t like needy.

I don’t care how much we whine about wanting men to be more sensitive and caring, more attuned to our needs, yadda yadda. While we do want that to a degree, girls do not want a dude who comes across as desperate or needy. Instant. Turnoff. To be 100% honest, you can’t come back from that one. Once you’ve made that mistake, the candle is blown out and your shot with us becomes less than slim to none. You’d have to turn into Superman, Mr. Universe and Arie Luyendyk, Jr. (MY future husband – GIRLS – MITTS OFF!!) all wrapped into one and, even then, you probably still need to take stock and move onto the next unsuspecting woman and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD hopefully having learned from your mistakes. I’m about to educate you so pay attention. We all know you have the attention span of gnats.

There is a fine line between being caring & respectful and being needy. Don’t cross it.

Example of a Texting Exchange Comparison between Normal Dude and Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude

Normal Dude being Caring & Respectful when girlfriend is sick:

Normal Dude: Hey babe, how are you feeling? Need anything? 

Girlfriend: No, thanks though. I’m feeling pretty rotten. I think I’m just going to sleep it off. Can we talk tomorrow?

Normal Dude: Sure! Just let me know if you need anything. Hope you get to feeling better. We’ll talk soon. XO

Nicely done, Normal Dude. You came across as caring with just the right amount of attentiveness. You knew when to back off.

And now, we’ll see what happens when you have a Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude being overly-attentive and making it all about his insecurities…

Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude: Hey babe, how are you feeling? Do you need soup? I’ll be happy to stop and buy you whatever you need from the store, just give me a list and I’ll be there. Need Kleenex or cold medicine?

Girlfriend: No I don’t need anything, just feeling pretty rotten. I think I’m just going to sleep it off. Can we talk tomorrow?

Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude: Did I say something wrong? Why don’t you want to talk to me? Can’t we just text? I know you’re not feeling well. Oh, I’m so sorry… I hope I didn’t say anything to make you feel worse.

Girlfriend: Don’t worry about it. Promise, we’ll talk tomorrow.

Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude: Are you mad at me? Are you sure you don’t need anything?? I can bring you some Gatorade. Oh, that reminds me – are you staying hydrated?? I’m soooo worried about you! Seriously, I can be there in, like, thirty minutes.

Girlfriend: I told you, everything is fine. I’m not upset. I’m just feeling really crummy and want to go to sleep. I’m really tired. Let’s talk tomorrow, OK?

Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude: You ARE mad. I knew it. Please just tell me what I did wrong. I didn’t mean to make you want to not talk to me. I am almost crying here – I don’t want to upset you when you’re sick!

Girlfriend falls asleep and doesn’t answer his text. About 30 minutes pass….

Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude: See? This is what I’ve always told you that I’m worried about, that you’ll get tired of me and then not want to talk to me. I know it’s why you didn’t answer my text. It’s not like I’m asking to come over. I just want to text. Unless you’re achy, then your hands might hurt… I don’t want you to text if it hurts your pretty fingers.

5 Minutes pass…

Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude: I know you’re mad but are you OK? You haven’t answered me…I just care about you so much…

3 Minutes pass…

Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude: OK I’m really starting to get worried now. PLEASE ANSWER ME. I just want to know you’re OK.

2 Minutes pass…

Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude: Why aren’t you answering me…??????????????

2 Minutes pass…

Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude: HELLOO????????

1 Minute passes…

Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude: HELLOO?????????!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!???

1 Minute passes…

Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude: OK I’m seriously about to come over. I just Facebooked the girl who lives next door to you and asked her to go check on you.

Girlfriend: OMG I just fell asleep! I’m FINE. I will talk to you tomorrow! I am going to sleep now and am turning off the phone so if I don’t answer don’t go all postal on me. Jeez, it’s just a cold… I will call you in the morning. Good NIGHT.

Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude: I knew you were mad at me… I’m so sorry… I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow. *sigh* I just wanted to know you were OK because I care about you so much… : ((((((((((((( Please don’t be mad at me. Please call me right when you wake up so I know you are alright.

You get the idea. Now, this may seem like an extreme example but I have had men who act like this. It is the worst possible type of man to get involved with. You spend more time justifying normal every day stuff when it should just be a typical exchange between two people.

To any men where this exchange may look similar to a conversation you’ve had in the past (or, God forbid, had recently) – sit up and take notice: You look weak, girly and women will not want to have sex with you.

This type of man never changes, only gets worse with time. You give them an inch; they message your entire Facebook friend list.

If you see this type of exchange happening early on – Run, Forrest, RUUUN!!!! Unless, of course, you are a co-dependent-seeking woman in which case, go for it, PLEASE!, because that’s one less Needy, Clingy and Desperate Dude that’s out there that I might run into and have to make up a fake break-up story just to get him off my back…

Boys Really DO Like to Chase Girls Around the Playground

•August 30, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Ever wonder why the guy isn’t asking you out again when everything seems to be going so well?  You meet, exchange numbers. He’s texting you all day long, there’s this great tension build-up. You go out. You have a fantastic first date, maybe even a great kiss as he drops you at your door. You may have another date, same kind of scenario. You feel like you’re on the Roller Coaster of Love and that you’re heading down the spiral of coupledom.

But then.

The texting slows down. You realize you’re texting him more than he’s texting you. You have mention of the third date but he hasn’t committed to anything yet. You want to see when that date will be so you even suggest that you go out on Saturday. He replies with something innocuous but doesn’t commit to the date and then you find that the communications quickly go downhill.

You had all this chemistry! The conversation was so awesome! And, WOW, that kiss! Why isn’t he calling?? What went wrong!? He seemed so into me when we were out… What did I do?

It’s because you became the masculine energy in the relationship. Boys want to be the aggressors. If you take on the role of pursuing him, he becomes immasculated and WHAMMO! He’s on to the next girl who’s going to make him feel like Manly Man.

I think women have this idea that, hey, it’s the 21st Century. We’re our own women. We should be able to ask a guy out. We can pick up the check! It’s what women do now! But the thing is, it goes against the chemically-bound roles that are ingrained deep inside. I know, I know…I don’t like it anymore than you do. I’m an extremely independent woman. I make my own money. I have my own home. I haven’t had to rely on anyone except myself for a very long time so why should I cowtow to acting girly when I’m everything but that?!

We can’t fight nature. You can still be your own woman and get the boy; you just have to know how to walk the line. I’m not suggesting that you flutter your eyelashes and start dotting your i’s with hearts, but what I am suggesting is that you make yourself just a little less available. Be a challenge. Let the boy chase you around the playground for a little bit. If you’re too available, too easily attainable, he’s outta there.

Follow some of these simple rules and you’ll have him eating out of your hand in no time – if he’s really interested.

Step One: Stop Texting

It’s fine for random checking-in and chatting throughout the day but if a guy is going to ask you out on a date he needs to at least have the level of respect to call you up and ask you out. In today’s technology age I think that women have lowered our standards way too much. It’s so easy to just pop someone a text or send an email – and that’s exactly the problem. They don’t have to make any effort.

It’s going to up to you to set that standard. You don’t have to be a bitch about it but you do have to hold him to the standards you set – and he’s going to respect you for it. If he tries to ask you out via text, just reply something like, “Maybe…maybe not…You should call me to see what my answer is…” If he doesn’t, or if he’s not willing to go the extra mile to have a physical conversation to ask you out on a date, then he’s not interested enough to truly date you and you need to move on to the next dude.

The second benefit of this is that your standards are raised in his mind by doing this. He is going to realize, right from the very beginning, that you’re not just a fly-by-night chick – or worse yet, a possible booty call – and your stock will rise.

Thirdly, if he’s not texting you or replying to your texts, don’t ramp up your efforts in an attempt to get a response. He would answer if he wanted to and you’ll only seem needy and desperate, two things guys just looooove….Sarcasm noted? Good.

Step Two: Be Busy. Have Your Own Fabulous Social Life

If a guy sees that you’re a busy girl, with a great social life, this makes you more of a challenge. I’m not suggesting you go all Clueless and send yourself flowers and chocolates, but if a guy sees that you have an active social life your stock rises even further. If he thinks you’re sitting home every night with the cat you’re much more available to him and, therefore, less of a challenge. If you’re active with friends and in social settings that makes you desirable to other people and therefore more desirable to him.

Step Three: Don’t Tell Your Life Story on the First Date

Women are really open by nature. There’s a lot of banter back and forth on the first date, all the getting-to-know you stuff. Talk of past relationships may come up. You can tell him small details but don’t tell him your whole life story on the first date. Keep it general. It’s a fine line; you need to be open yet still hold some things back. We all have some craziness in our pasts so don’t go there, not until much later. Don’t lie, but don’t give it all up, either. I’ve made this mistake so many times I cannot even count because, truly, I’m very open by nature. Thing is, if he knows your whole life story after date one, where is there left to go? What’s he left wanting? Be a little mysterious. Which leads us to….

Step Four: Be Interested in HIM

Guys like to think they’re important, so if you’re yammering on and on about yourself and all the crap he could care less about he’s going to tune out and you’re done. Ask questions about him – his job, his family, etc –  but keep them general – personal but not too personal. Maintain eye contact. Touch his arm from time to time or lightly brush up against him, but keep it light and keep it limited. This will let him know you’re interested on a physical, non-verbal level. Ask him questions about himself and, even if it’s boring, act like it’s fascinating. This will boost his ego and your stock goes up just a little bit more.

(Tip: He doesn’t give two shits about your shoes, just might like looking at them if they’re hot. They tell their own story. Men are visual creatures – let the visual speak for itself. Don’t ask for validation that they’re hot, either.)

This isn’t to say make the date all about him, and in no way should you be less who you are just to make him feel like Krull the Warrior King, but you need to make it an interesting interplay between the two of you. If he’s interested in you he’s going to ask questions about you right back, so it should be a fairly even playing field. And on that note, refer back to Step Three; they go hand in hand.

Step Five: Don’t Give “It” Up on the First Date

This should be obvious. I don’t care how well the date is going and how much fire is between the two of you, DO NOT give up that arse on the first date. Or on the second date. Or even the third. He needs to know you, desire you and respect you first and he’s not going to get to “that” level until he really gets to know who you are. If he’s really interested in you and wants to date you and not just Tap That, then this should be no problem. If he tries to get physical early on and you slam on the brakes and don’t hear back from him after, he was just looking for a booty call and you don’t want to date him anyway. If he really wants you, he’ll keep coming back. Conversely, don’t tell him you have a rule, such as “I won’t ever sleep with a guy until we’ve been out on five dates,” because this just gives him a goal to meet/break and could be counter-productive. Just set your own standard and hold to it.

Be fun and playful, be dynamic and attractive, but be the woman he can’t live without. Make him work for it, girl. You’re worth it!

Despite some of the steps I’ve given and the hard lessons I’ve learned – and believe me, I’ve dated so much I should have a Degree in it – the rules of dating are not finite. Every situation is going to be different and every relationship has its own nuances so you’re going to have to bob and weave to adapt. The part that should always remain finite: RESPECT YOURSELF. If you don’t respect yourself, no one else will. Hold yourself to a high standard and he will follow suit. Remember: the energy you feel inside is going to mirrored on the outside, no matter how hard you try to put on a front, so don’t try to fake it. If you don’t feel it, you’re not ready to put yourself out there.

Now, with a slap on the ass and a “GO TEAM!” you’re ready to hit the dating field! It’s a tough field to play on and only the strong make it to the finals so practice makes perfect. Date, date, date! The next guy you meet may or may not be Mr. Perfect (And – Bonus Tip – Don’t talk yourself into the fact that he is something he isn’t! If there are red flags waving, no butterflies, or you’re saying, “Well, maybe if I go out with him again I might feel something..YOU WON’T! Cut him loose!!)

Remember: if he’s not calling you, he’s not into you, so let him go. Men are very simple creatures, despite the fact that they seem so complicated.

  • They want a woman who will make them feel like a man.
  • They don’t want to feel intimated or immasculated. Give them positive feedback.
  • They want to be the aggressors. Let him come to you.
  • They can’t stand women who are needy or who get too serious, too quickly. (If they do, they’re probably inclined to co-dependency and you should run for the hills.)
  • They like to be the focus of your attention and respond to non-verbal actions.
  • They don’t really care very much about the details. Keep it simple.
  • They don’t read into things like we do and are not spending their days trying to figure out if what you just texted him meant more than what was on the surface.  Things usually are exactly the way they appear.

Set your standards, be yourself, hold onto You while looking for Him and you’ll be just fine!

GO TEAM!!

Dear Match.com…

•May 14, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I’m weary. This Internet dating stuff is downright brutal! I think I need to stop looking… It’s almost like every time I start to look I get so discouraged that the negative energy takes over and then I can’t keep an open heart.

Speaking of open hearts…

My little girl bought me an open heart necklace for Mother’s Day, picked all by her little 10 year old self from Kay Jewelers. I was so proud… But at the same time wondering if it wasn’t a sign. I’ve felt my heart close of lately, mostly because the last three guys I’ve gone out with have been total crash & burns. (and this doesn’t include all the failed phone calls and email convos started!) Maybe her gift, if I wear it every day will help me remember to keep my heart open.

But, y’all, the last three men I’ve met haven’t helped the situation.

The first just had no spark. We went out on a couple dates, I helped the guy find a job when he got laid off and then now he has to concentrate on his new job and not dating. Thanks, dude. Major props for burning that bridge.

Second guy was great on the first date and then on the second date was such a douche! Talking about how he guilts his mom into buying him stuff when he makes a 6 figure salary, screwing his ex wife into paying for furniture for their daughter. So gross. And didn’t walk me to my car in a dark parking lot!

And then guy #3’s pictures were at least 5-7 years old. Dude, at least be honest a represent your true self. Show the beer gut in the photos!

I feel like I’m attracting guys 20 years older who want a young wife or guys who just want to hook up. Aren’t there any real, honest, true men left??? It’s like couple who are trying to get pregnant. It happens when they stop trying… I’m very honest & open with every new person I meet. Maybe I should hold back & be more elusive.

What’s the concensus? Do I renew that subscription or slink off defeated once again? There was a cute boy who just winked…maybe just one more month.

Lady Luck, come on girl – bring it!!

I’m Baaack!

•March 23, 2012 • Leave a Comment

WOW, it has been a long time. A year! Evidently when I start internet dating again I need to come here to talk about it, yo? Obviously the last post referenced me talking about a person coming back into my life that obviously didn’t turn out the way I thought it would. Closure. Yes. Still a friend. Yes. Did he change? NO. Reference earlier comments re: Fool me once… I’m not upset though. Things are good.

Internet dating is exactly as I remembered it to be the last time around. Drudgery, mostly, but I am coming at it with a different perspective. I realize now that I don’t need a guy. I seriously don’t. Would it be nice? Sure. Can I see a guy who is full of shit from 100 yards away? DEFINITELY.  Are there some cute boys out there? DEFINITELY. There have been a few dates, met some nice people, neither exciting nor notable, but, hey, at least I’m out there. I met one of my very best friends in the World on The Site and we still talk a couple times a week.

One thing I have noticed, though, is that I’m attracting a different type of guy and it’s making me feel fucking old. Or making me feel young. I don’t know whether to be flattered or make an appointment for Botox. Most of the people who are winking and hitting me up are at least 15 years my senior and balding with a paunch, but successful. They want a trophy wife, possibly? (Not that I’m boasting that I’m a trophy but that’s where the mind goes…) And the guys who are my age…are they hitting up girls 15 years younger? I sure hope not but I suspect that’s what’s happening. Have I hit The Zone? And I’m not talking about a good Zone, here. I’m talking about The Zone “they” talk about where a woman hits her late 30’s and becomes a pariah in the dating world. Too old to be young and too young to be old.

I’m not hatin’, tho. I still think there’s someone out there for me and he’s gonna have a full head of hair unless he chooses to shave it all off, which I find oddly very sexy. I’m not even going to mention that I have this thing for…oh God should I even say it…?

Pitbull.

*shudder*

I do! Shaved head, cocky, cute. Damn. Not that I feel the need to troll the world of ho-bag-surrounded rappers or anything but it’s a type. Also guys with cute eyes and a good smile, gets me every time. Maybe I should just post my profile here and see what happens (no way).

Anyhoooo….

Not connecting so much with the canvas these days so here I am, once again, to regale you with the himstakes (I have a couple queued up.) and maybe even a happy ending one day. The coolest part? I already have my happy ending exactly where I am so if it gets happier, that’s all just a bonus.

Plus – CAKE! Win-win!

 
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